Friday, December 7, 2012

INTRODUCTION Oregon State District 8 Senator Betsy Close - Oregon Domestic Violence & Marital Rape Victim Speaks Out

 
From 1993-1994, Oregon State District 8 Senator Betsy Close phoned me, during the time of my illness and told me God had cursed me. She sent me letters exhorting me to repent. She does not believe an abused and battered woman has a “right to divorce.” Under Betsy Close’s fundamental ideology, a wife should just call “911.” Ms. Close’s viewpoints promote domestic violence and loss of lives.
 
Oregon State District 8 Senator Betsy Close is an Obstacle to Women & Children's Safety 
 
 
 
Escaping an abusive marriage is no easy task for many evangelical women, many of whom have pastors that say physical and mental abuse is no reason for divorce.
 
 
 
 
 
INTRODUCTION Oregon State District 8 Senator Betsy Close (R) - Oregon Domestic Violence and Marital Rape Victim Speaks Out
 
 
 
BONSHEÁ: Making Light of the Dark shares my search for freedom and light in a society based on patriarchal religion and laws. It openly speaks about the ideas and beliefs in our society which foster sexism, racism, the denigration of human rights and the intolerance of difference. My documentation exposes the dark side of human nature when all people are not valued. A healthy society must have the courage to address these issues, speak about them, examine them and bring them to light. Indifference encourages, "silent violence"-the type of violence I experienced in my home, in the community, religious circles and judicial system. Nobel laureate, Elie Wiesel states, "The indifference to suffering makes the human inhumane."
 
 
Domestic violence is a crime. It is a complex problem with roots in an oppressively hierarchical, patriarchal violence-accepting society.

 
Betsy Close is an obstacle to women and children in Oregon seeking safety and security. She holds many extreme fundamentalist beliefs that are a detriment to women and children as well as the general community.

Senator Close's brand of conservatism does not represent the majority of the people in the district and her views on the subservience of women, legalistic Christianity and dogmatic right-wing extremism are toxic and wrong for Oregon.


I lived in Corvallis, Independence, Albany and Salem for over twenty years. When I was divorcing my husband to escape a long-term abusive marriage, Betsy Close was a friend of my family. She testified at my divorce trial that no Christian woman has a right to divorce her husband except in cases of desertion or fornication outside the marriage. She sided publicly with the man who had abused me and my children physically and psychologically for 18 years!

Domestic violence is a huge problem in the United States. In 1999, Governor Kitzhaber reported that domestic violence is at epidemic proportions in Oregon – and nothing substantive has changed in the years since he made that statement. New legislation is needed that would promote safety, wellness, and wholeness for women, children and families involved in domestic violence and abuse incidents in Oregon.

As long as individuals, such as Betsy Close, are in office who fail to recognize the severe and far-reaching consequences of domestic violence to our society, women in situations like mine will continue to suffer. Anyone who denies a woman’s (or a child’s) right to be safe, especially when that denial in cloaked in a paternalistic and legalistic religious dogma, contributes to the prevalence of the abuse. Betsy Close is such a person and the wrong choice to represent the people of Benton and Linn Counties.

From 1993-1994, Oregon State District 8 Senator Betsy Close phoned me, during the time of my illness and told me God had cursed me. She sent me letters exhorting me to repent. She does not believe an abused and battered woman has a “right to divorce.” Under Betsy Close’s fundamental ideology, a wife should just call “911.” Ms. Close’s viewpoints promote domestic violence and loss of lives.


Betsy Close’s testimony in court is public record and I have written several articles on the subject of domestic violence. For more information on this topic, you are welcome to review my published articles. My revised published book, BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark, will be published in Feb. 2013. Numerous audio court hearing tapes, which include Betsy Close's hostile testimony, will be included in a documentary on my life story in 2013. See reviews below by Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson and Dr. Barbara May, Professor of Nursing, Linfield College, Portland, Oregon.
  
 

Culture Fail: Betsy Close, Oregon’s Newest Senator

Posted: October 18th, 2012
At the Advocate, we generally try to remain non-partisan when it comes to local politics. But sometimes a situation arises that makes you shake your head and wonder what those involved are thinking… in any case, it at least requires comment.
 
I hope you will take the time to review the Part 1 - 6 article series on my life story published at Salem-News.com to help give you a better understanding of how the Oregon judicial system treats battered women and also the response of local citizens and church leaders.
                                             
The articles below include newly appointed Oregon District 8 Senator, Betsy Close (R).
 
During the period of my breakdown/depression in the spring of 1994, my husband and his pastors left me at the “Wings of Love” half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon to punish me and break me to the “will of God” they said. The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes. It was filthy and was infested with rats and lice. Three months earlier, I had a D & C, due to my 3rd miscarriage. 

I lost custody and contact with my eight children, including my nursing infant, when I sought safety in 1995 from my abusive husband. I became homeless due to disability and the cost of ongoing court trauma. I was sued by my wealthy ex-husband for twice the amount I earn on disability while destitute and living in my car. Since 1995 my ex-husband has legally stalked me, i.e, forty-two court hearings including his appeal to the Oregon State of Appeals. I have lived under a state address protection program since 1999. 
 
 
 
This is a summary of my story:
After surviving years of childhood and marital abuse and neglect, a woman suffers a physical collapse, partial stroke and severe mental/nervous breakdown. While in a near catatonic state, the woman is physically assaulted and raped. She becomes pregnant.


Toward the final stages of her pregnancy, she fully recovers from her breakdown. She births her baby, and mother and baby enjoy bonding and breastfeeding. The mother cherishes her newborn son. After undergoing several psychiatric tests and evaluations, her physicians state that she is well.


Her abuser, the father of the child, manipulates the judicial system and seeks custody of the baby. With intervention from the religious community and testimony about the mother's prior mental history, the father is awarded custody of the nursing infant. The mother is ordered to pay her rapist/abuser exorbitant child support while suffering from homelessness and disabilities. She is no longer allowed contact with her child. When the baby is abruptly taken away, the mother goes into shock.

The 'father of the child' has committed crimes against the mother according to Oregon statutes and laws (Chapter 743, Oregon Laws 1971, 163.375), but is embraced and rewarded in our judicial and religious system. The victim becomes the criminal. I am this woman; this baby is my child; and the father of this child is my ex-husband.
 
Anyone can Endure Tyranny but it takes True Courage to Embrace Freedom
 

To this day, I remember the terrifying fear I felt for years as a child and also during my marriage that had me lying awake shaking some nights. Every form of abuse has a long lasting effect on each one of us.
 
Revictimization 2009 Pandora’s Project by Louise 6 http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2012/10/revictimization.html
 

I no longer embrace the ideological rigidity and doctrines of patriarchal religions and fundamental “Christianity,” but wish to help those who are being abused “in the name of God.” My script for my life involves wholeness, dignity, honor and self-respect. I am at peace with my life and my past and have learned that as I honor myself, I honor God.

 
I remind those around me to not forget the millions of women and children who are veterans of intimate wars and private anguish and for whom terror at home is business as usual. One in four women will experience violence at the hands of their partner at some time in their lives and one in three women will be the victim of sexual assault.

The shame of my abuse lies upon the community who refuses to help or stop it. Domestic violence and abuse begins in the minds of a community that allows and accepts it.

The kind of violence, abuse and suppression perpetrated by so many of our organized religions and government agencies is truly shocking and can only continue by our refusal to look AT IT rather than the OTHER WAY.

A victim's first scream is for help, a victim’s second scream is for justice.
 
 
During the period of my breakdown/depression in the spring of 1994, my husband and his pastors left me at the “Wings of Love” half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon to punish me and break me to the “will of God” they said. The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes. It was filthy and was infested with rats and lice. Three months earlier, I had a D & C, due to my 3rd miscarriage.
 
 
This is an excellent article that I included in my references in my Part 6 article:
1 "When Those Who Are Supposed to Help You Get Out - Don't"
Written by Maria De Santis of the Women’s Justice Center, Santa Rosa, CA

The Patriarchy Still Rules! And Still Needs to be Upended!
The glaring blind spot is rooted deep in the self-preservation mechanisms of patriarchal rule.
http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com/2009/07/when-those-who-are-supposed-to-help-you.html

 

BONSHEA Press Release, reviews, articles, music tribute, and radio show links at:  www.coralanikatheill.com


You can contact me at coraltheill@hotmail.com if you have any questions.
 
BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark Reviews:
Casting religion in a negative light, can often invite a strong reaction mixed with accusations of heresy and un-Godliness. Such reactions can have a chilling effect on those who might wish to express a negative human experience, namely domestic abuse, where religion has been used as a vehicle to enable the abuse. In BONSHEA, Coral Theill confronts this troublesome dynamic in an anecdotal account, which underscores the degree to which religion, and the legal system, can be used to enable systematic domestic abuse. In doing so, Coral Theill has ventured into relatively uncharted territory in a manner which may well draw detractors, but at the same time offers great validation for those who find themselves entangled in an abusive relationship buttressed with religious justification.

In addition to broaching this form of religious distortion, BONSHEA also illustrates the degree to which the legal system can also be used as a vehicle to further perpetuate abuse even after the victim has chosen to take a stand against the abuse. In BONSHEA, Coral Theill has clearly chosen to take a courageous stand. It is a stand that comes with a cost, but whose dividends are measured in the strength of the soul." – John Haroldson, District Attorney, Benton County District Attorney's Office, Corvallis, Oregon

Coral Theill's BONSHEÁ is intense in its effort to "open the doors" behind which many domestic violence perpetrators have stood for so long in the name of "privacy." She dispels painful secrets about the abuse and the violence in her life and the lives of her children, which is chilling to read about because of its pervasiveness, its limitlessness and its consequences. At every level-family and friends, key people in her community, the health care system, the legal and judicial system, and the culture which socializes us all-she met with adversity and re-victimization. In the telling of her recovery, which is truly remarkable given her circumstances, the reader gets a vivid sense of the indominability of her spirit and light. The strategies she shares with the reader can make a difference between being a victim and being a survivor.

Her story is compelling reading for anyone living or surviving this experience. I recommend this book for health care providers, those in the criminal justice system, and volunteers or helpers of any kind to get insights and clarity about the complex dynamics of domestic violence and its toxic effects to individuals and society-and what needs to be done to eradicate this pandemic problem." Barbara A. May, PhD, RN PMHP, Professor of Nursing, Linfield College, Portland, Oregon
 
 
 
Coral Anika Theill's Documentation & Letters: http://coralanikatheill.blogspot.com
Coral Anika Theill's website: www.coralanikatheill.com
 
How I Became a Brood Mare and Egg Donor for the Church and State:  Rape is Torture
Oregon District 8 Senator Betsy Close, Marty Warner, Spiritual Terrorism, Ritual Abusue, Judge Norblad, Bill Gothard, Pastor Ron & Marijo Sutter, Bridgeport Community Chapel

Spiritual and ritual abuse is a serious form of abuse which occurs when a person in a cult-religious authority or a person with a unique spiritual practice misleads and maltreats another person in the name of a deity (god) or church or in the mystery of any spiritual concept. Spiritual abuse often refers to an abuser using spiritual or cult-religious rank in taking advantage of the victim's spirituality (mentality and passion on spiritual matters) by putting the victim in a state of unquestioning obedience to an abusive authority. Spiritual abuse refers to the use of spiritual knowledge to deprive, torture, degrade, isolate, control, or (in rare and extreme cases) even kill others. It is used by evil-minded spiritualists, sometimes, including cult-religious leaders, to gain advantage, dominate, or exercise control over others. Being an "action of man," in worst case scenarios, spiritual abuse can otherwise be considered a form of "spiritual terrorism."

Spiritual abuse is the maltreatment of a person ostensibly in the name of a god, deity, faith, cult-religion, or church, whether habitual or not.


Aug-20-2012 05:36printcomments

How I Became a Brood Mare and Egg Donor for the Church and State: Rape is Torture



Part 3 of 6: Unlawful, malicious, criminal acts have been committed against me and my children by judges, attorneys and religious, hostile courtroom witnesses.

This is Zachary David Warner and me (Zachary's mother), July 1995 in Independence, Oregon
This is Zachary David Warner and me (Zachary's mother), July 1995 in Independence, Oregon at our home. I have not been allowed to see my son, since 1998, nor allowed to write him or send him gifts since 2003.

(SALEM) - LIFE Magazine, USA Today and many other magazines have featured articles on women in prison in America. They report that women prisoners are allowed to keep their babies with them for eighteen months while serving their sentences, (Florida Statute 944.24). I am haunted by this single question. Why was I treated lower than a criminal by Oregon's judicial law system? I was a faithful wife and mother for almost twenty years. Presently, I have fewer rights than a criminal in America and I have no criminal record and have no history of alcohol, drug or child abuse.

"When courts blame victims and fail to hold abusers accountable, they reinforce abuser behavior, subvert justice, disempower the victims, teach children that abusive behavior is permissible and may even be rewarded, and reinforce the cycle of violence. Most batterers know they can bring criminal and contempt charges at no expense to the abusers, but they take an enormous financial and emotional cost on their victims. The result is that many abusive men drag on the litigation and file spurious claims openly acknowledging they are trying to drive their victims onto welfare or into homelessness; half of all homeless women and children in the U.S. are homeless because of domestic violence." - Joan Zorza, Esq

I believe to heal from our trauma, we must be able to tell the absolute truth and face it squarely. Alienation from our memories dooms us to live in a constant present, cut off from the past and the future. I remember so I can help others see that they can help themselves.

Betsy Close


I am sharing intimate details of my life because a grave injustice has been committed. My situation begs for resolution and justice. Unlawful, malicious, and criminal acts have been committed against me and my children by judges, attorneys and religious, hostile witnesses [Betsy Close] in a courtroom of law. My story and transcripts not only reveal a lifetime of child abuse, marital abuse, and the ritual abuse of religion, it exposes the physical and mental abuse a woman is subjected to in our “judicial system.” This case remains unchallenged.

I was physically and mentally incapacitated during the time of my illness and unable to consent, and suffered repeated sexual assaults [rapes] by my husband, Mr. Marty Warner. My children were allowed to remain with the man accused of these crimes. My contact with them was completely, suddenly and arbitrarily removed per a Court Order by Judge Albin Norblad on March 10, 1996.

Mr. John Benson, an attorney working on my case in Mr. Gearings’ office, stated, "Kathy, [Coral] you need a criminal lawyer not a divorce attorney. By legal definition, Mr. Warner could be charged with ten counts of kidnapping." That was his view of my having been forced to go to all the cult meetings and "counseling" sessions with abusive counselor, Mr. Bill Heard and others against my will. In 1994, I was also dropped off at the "Wings of Love" half-way house, on Killingsworth, Portland, Oregon, and the Bill Gothard Indianapolis training center in Indianapolis for "God to break me," Mr. Warner and his pastors said.At the Bill Gothard Institute, during a time I was experiencing post-partum depression, a breakdown and partial stroke, the abusive Christian employees at the Bill Gothard Institute told me God was punishing me because I had a "Jezebel spirit" and had not learned to submit to my husband and God's authorities. I was accused of witchcraft and they tried, through prayer and exorcism, to cast demons out of me on a daily basis. (My husband and his counselors believed that psychology was in error to the Word of God.)

Mr. Bill Gothard is charismatic, just as Jim Jones was. His organization (Bill Gothard Institue) and ideology can be classified as a cult. He is well respected and admired by millions of fundamental Christians in America and city and government officials, but he uses oppression, brainwashing and mind control tactics to deceive. I remember feeling traumatized by the leaders at the institute. While I was being spiritually and mentally abused by Bill Gothard's staff, I remember I looked at myself in the mirror, touching my reflection and saying, "Kathy all gone, Kathy all gone." She was. (Read article on my experiences at the Bill Gothard training center published at Alternet.org http://www.alternet.org/speakeasy/2010/09/29/alan-graysons-fl-republican-opponent-tied-to-biblical-stoning-movement-aka-christian-reconstructionism?page=entire%2c3

Judge Albin Norblad laughs about Rape during court hearings




Norblad


Judge Norblad’s lengthy career has included a number of controversial and high profile cases. As a juvenile court judge during the 1970’s, Norblad made hundreds of unpopular decisions, reportedly sending more youths to MacLaren Youth Correctional Facility than any other judge in the state. He is known as the “hanging judge.”

In 2002, the judge was disciplined by the Oregon Commission on Judicial Fitness and Disability with a thirty-day suspension following a drunk driving incident, an action which was upheld on appeal to the state Supreme Court.

On March 1, 1996, during the temporary custody hearing, Judge Albin Norblad asked my husband, while he was on the witness stand and under oath, why he had impregnated me during the time I was suffering a mental/nervous breakdown.

POLK COUNTY OREGON COURT TRANSCRIPT March 1996

JUDGE NORBLAD: "Sir, I have one question. Maybe this is curiosity, more than it has to do with the case. If your wife was going through so much emotional difficulties, she realized it, and you realized it, why did you attempt to have an additional child and two pregnancies?

    MR. WARNER: We didn't attempt to have an additional child.



    JUDGE NORBLAD: No, you succeeded, I guess.



    MR. WARNER: Yes, sir. Zachary's pregnancy was a surprise. We were trying to avoid that.



    (Note: No contraceptives were used. I was living with my brother out-of-state at the time.)



    JUDGE NORBLAD: Twice?



    MR. WARNER: The other pregnancy was a surprise as well. Both those.



    (Note: Pregnancy No. 1 during my mental/nervous breakdown. This pregnancy ended in miscarriage.)



    JUDGE NORBLAD: Okay.



    MR. WARNER: I was very committed to doing my part to avoid pregnancy.



    JUDGE NORBLAD: All right. Thank you. You can step down.



    MR. WARNER: As you can tell, Kathy and I have not had too much difficulty conceiving. (Laughs) (Kathy was my former name before I legally changed my name in 1999)



    JUDGE NORBLAD: Yeah, I got that figured out. (Laughs)



My friends and I wonder what Mr. Warner meant by, "I was very committed to doing my part to avoid a pregnancy." These two pregnancies pushed my health farther over the edge. It was not a humorous situation. What is humorous about rape?

Helen Benedict 1992, Virgin or Vamp wrote, "I prefer to characterize rape simply as a form of torture. Like the torturer, the rapist is motivated by the urge to dominate, humiliate and destroy his victim. Like a torturer, he does so by using the most intimate acts available to humans - sexual ones."

Throughout our marriage Mr. Warner often referred to me as a "cow or a horse in need of being bred." Mr. Warner insisted on sexual relations immediately before and after the birth of each my eight children. He had no regard for the risk of infection he subjected me to or the pain he caused. He used me sexually when I was physically ill and during my breakdown.

The most painful and insidious act committed against me was being raped by my ex-husband during the period of my physical/mental nervous breakdown in 1993-1994.

Until now, to survive the court trauma and shock, I kept my feelings regarding the rapes deep within me. I can't find that woman,–the empty shell with bandaged wrists any more. She was mentally gone, spiritually stripped and being used like a whore and a brood mare by the man who "legally owned her."

This fact leaves me at a loss for words and is probably one of the reasons I felt compelled to change my name. I don't know Kathy Hall, anymore. I believe the day she was raped while so physically, mentally and emotionally broken, she died.

Severe trauma can so impact our ability to recognize our self, that even the face in a mirror is a stranger.

On April 22, 1999, I legally changed my name to Coral Anika Theill at the Marion County Courthouse, in Salem, Oregon. Kathy Hall was laid to rest.

Andrea Dworkin, in her book, Intercourse, analyzes the institution of sexual intercourse and how that institution, as defined and controlled by patriarchy, has proven to be a devastating enslavement of woman.

I was not the only woman Mr. Warner treated badly. Between 1993-1994, Mr. Warner was a supervisor over Debbie Custis, at Hewlett Packard. Sexual harassment allegations on a gender basis were reported against Mr. Marty Warner by fellow employees and a former supervisor who worked with Ms. Custis. He continually harangued her that she should be at home–women did not belong in the work place, and he made suggestive and disparaging comments when they disagreed, such as, “I don’t know if this is a personal problem we’re having or if this is something you are going through at this time of the month.” (Court Affidavit and Documentation http://coralanikatheill.com/Documentation_-_Letters.html).

Mr. Warner was never reprimanded for his behavior and suffered no consequences. Ms. Custis found Mr. Warner's derogatory attitude towards women so difficult she tried to transfer to another department. She was hired by another department within the company, but her supervisor and facilities manager would not allow her to transfer. Mrs. Custis is still healing from the abuse she suffered from Mr. Warner on the job site and worked in the same department with Mr. Warner until he transferred to Clair Company, Corvallis, Oregon, in the fall of 2001.

Two other women who he abused in the workplace and in our own home also contacted me. One of them sought the assistance of an attorney, the second women regrets that she did not have the monies to seek legal help and protection from Mr. Warner.

When I was six to ten years old, my narcissistic and sadistic mother trafficked me each night. I was sent to an upstairs apartment where my alcoholic great-uncle lived. He was a convicted murderer (killed his seven year old daughter) and a convicted sex offender (raped his three daughters). I was repeatedly molested each night during these years. I begged for help, but no help came. During my elementary years, I was also severely beaten by my step-grandfather.

My mother received great satisfaction observing the abuse I suffered. She was cold and demanding. My life with my mother was portrayed in the movies, “Carrie” and “Mommy Dearest.” She passed away in 2010. While speaking to her by phone, she expressed no remorse for what she had done to me. Just hearing her voice re-traumatized me. In her letters, she acknowledged what she did to me, but felt no responsibility.

Throughout the years I did not harbor feelings of resentment or bitterness toward my mother, great-uncle, and my abusers, but instinctively knew, even as a young child, I had been violated and those who were suppose to protect me had taken something very sacred of mine.

Feelings of shame, uncertainty and chaos would haunt me in the years to come as a result of living in a home where no one listened and boundaries were violated. The memories of my childhood were painful because those I looked to for guidance and protection never “showed up.”

Because I confronted my mother about the abuse I suffered several years ago, she disinherited me and left her and my brother’s sizeable estate to my well-to-do cousin, Beverly Moerke, Walla Walla, WA, and me, $1.00. Beverly, a devout Catholic, sent me a $1.00 check this past year. Even though I live under poverty level due to disabilities, I never cashed the check. Friends confronted Ms. Moerke, but there was no response from her.

Although my home life as a child was very difficult, I became a pilot at age 17, passed my FAA exams, was a straight A student, co-valedictorian, President of honor society, volunteer worker and secretary/court reporter for two Washington State Superior Court Judges by the age of 19.

I was stalked and brutally raped by Marty Warner at age 19, in Longview, WA. Mr. Warner was six years older than me. There was no one to tell, nowhere to go. Due to the fundamental Christian ideology I had been exposed to, I was pressured to believe I had to marry the person who raped me. Christian friends and leaders said I was damaged merchandise - their interpretation.

I spoke with Marty Warner a month before our wedding date about calling off the wedding. He dismissed my concerns as exaggerations and "cold feet." Due to the eighteen previous years of severe child abuse: beatings, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, I had very few assertive or confrontational skills to voice my opinions. I was easy prey for a predator such as Mr. Warner.

I had not yet learned the spiritual principles of following your own intuition, your life force, and creating harmony and balance in one's daily life. I was caught up in a web of those who had assumed a role of authority in my life. I allowed others to bring their chaos into my life.

When I married my ex-husband, Marty Warner, his religious belief system and controlling personality was a continuation of all that I knew and was familiar with from my childhood–destructive and devitalizing from religious brainwashing. Like my mother, my husband was a narcissist and sociopath. They see themselves as "martyrs." In their minds, they are superior to everyone.




I believe, until healed from our past, we continue to attract the lessons into our lives that will someday bring us wholeness.

In the years that followed my husband expected me to speak, represent and teach "his truths" while in his presence and his absence. I was not allowed to express my own beliefs and spiritual truths. Mr. Warner would become violent when I did not conform to all his wishes. I often would share with my children, "I am only doing this because I must obey your father."

Physically, I stayed in the marriage for almost twenty years. Mentally, my bags were packed. No one ever becomes accustomed to abuse and emotional blackmail.

The inner struggle throughout the years of being forced to obey a man who did not love me or care for my well-being became increasingly confusing for me as I tried to honor my marriage vows. Although, I was encouraged by many well-meaning men and women that this was “God’s will” for me, and that obeying my husband was pleasing to God, I could not understand why I felt so miserable. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t understand why God would orchestrate a system (marriage) that would oppress an individual and strip them of their rights.

Inwardly, I despised being treated like a second-class citizen while being told that this was “love.”

Mr. Warner seemed obsessed throughout our marriage with the evils of the feminist movement and women’s rights in our society and often required me to send books he approved, e.g., Mary Pride’s book, The Way Home, to women friends and acquaintances. I later realized this was just another way of him isolating me from women who had been a part of my life.

Most women were repulsed by this book and sent it back. Mr. Warner’s ideology – no contraception – was consistent with the “Quiverful Movement.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiverfull I remember the two things I felt most strongly during this time were loneliness and a determination to stay safe by appeasing the man I lived with.

Mr. Warner would often comment that working under a woman at work was in direct violation of his Scriptural convictions. He also had problems with the fact that his fellow co-workers were women. He believed that women belonged at home. Mr. Warner was an avid supporter of Phyllis Schlafly and Concerned Women of America and presently supports the ministry of Brannon Howse. http://www.worldviewweekend.com/

I was not allowed access to money or knowledge about our finances. I was forbidden to work outside the home or attend college classes. I was allowed to buy groceries and I purchased most of the children's and my clothes and household items at second-hand shops. I was not free to talk to friends or family members. My husband read my incoming and outgoing mail. I was not allowed to read a newspaper. He told me what books I could read and burned books of mine if he disapproved. In the early 1990’s, Mr. Warner forced me to watch the Rush Limbaugh program, which I found oppressive.

Shunned by Christian/Catholic Cult




In 1984, I left a Christian/Catholic cult community called “People of Praise” my husband had forced me to attend. I also left the Catholic Church in 1986. This was the beginning of months and years of emotional and verbal threats from my husband. I was shunned by my husband and the cult leaders and members due to my “disobedience” to my husband and the leaders. Mr. Warner badgered me daily and asked me, “Whose church authority are you going to be under?” I simply stated, “no one,” that I just wanted the right to ‘be.’ This was an unsatisfactory answer for Mr. Warner.

Many friends, including Betsy and Chris Close, were aware of Mr. Warner’s rage and violent behavior towards me because I was no longer attending the ‘People of Praise” cult or the Catholic Church with him. They offered a room in their house should the children and I ever need to escape for safety reasons. I kept diapers for my baby and clothes for the children in the tire compartment of our station wagon for a period of six months or more.

In the early years of our marriage, my husband had made it very clear to me, that if I ever tried to leave, his "empire" would remain intact. The estate was his, and in his opinion, the children were a part of his estate. Whatever I had brought into the marriage was his.

After our marriage in 1976, he took over my accounts and my car and cashed the life insurance policy I bought when I was twelve years old. My properties became his properties. I wasn't aware of how I was becoming enslaved one day at a time.

During the two year episode of my breakdown (1993-1994), I was mentally, emotionally and physically incapacitated. Mr. Warner refused to acknowledge that I was experiencing serious problems. Instead, he and his religious counselors told me and my children that I had a "spiritual problem" and God was punishing me because I had not learned how to submit to my husband and the religious authorities God had placed over me. I looked within my soul and couldn't remember when I had not obeyed except for times I intervened when Mr. Warner was verbally, emotionally or physically harming my children.

In 1993, a former neighbor and friend, Ms. Karen Lague, expressed concerns to one of my physicians, Dr. Roger Jacobson, that I was trying to deal with my difficulty by controlling my thoughts and working with some unlicensed Christian counselors. At this time, my husband, Betsy Close, my husband’s mother, Helen Warner, and my husband’s friends and his counselor, Bill Heard, convinced me, while in my weakened mental state, that I had a “sin” problem and that going to psychiatrists and taking medications was “evil.”)

Birth of my 8th Child, Zachary




Zachary David is born at Albany General Hospital, Albany, Oregon, on July 13, 1995. Mr. Warner tried to interfere with the physicians saving my life. The doctors threatened to have him removed from the hospital room. I was hemorrhaging. I stayed in the hospital, per doctors’ orders, for three days. Zachary and I shared a close bond. I have not seen him since 1998 due to Court Orders, poverty and the fact that I live under a state address protection program from his father, Marty Warner.

Bridgeport Community Chapel in Dallas, Oregon


My children’s spiritual advisors are from Bridgeport Community Church, Monmouth, Oregon, and unfortunately, Santiam Christian School. A kindergarten teacher at Santiam Christian School announced, in front of the class and parents, that my youngest son, Zachary, had been abandoned by his mother (me) and that was why he was not participating in making a “Mother’s Day gift.” This was a lie and a horrific statement to say to a child! Parents who witnessed this incident phoned me to share their disapproval of the teacher’s comments.

Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson and Dr. Barbara May, Professor of Nursing, Linfield College, offered to professionally speak to the teachers and administration of Santiam Christian School in 2003, but the administration wanted nothing to do with hearing from these two experts and learning any truth about my case. I sought an attorney to assist me with legal rights due to my children’s school records. To date, Santiam Christian School did not adhere to Oregon law in this matter.

Last year I called my oldest son and asked him if he would tell my son, Zachary, who is still a minor, that I remembered his birthday. I said, “Don't tell Zachary Happy Birthday for me, or else I will get contempt orders from the Court, but tell him I reminded you about his birthday. I broke down and wept as I relayed this message because it was just too crazy and insane!

Creating Healthy Boundaries




I choose to relinquish custody of my children in the fall of 1996 because I knew my older children were brainwashed and despised me. I also had no monies for ongoing court costs. My decision to not seek custody of my baby and younger children was a message to all eight of my children that they were loved equally.

As I was climbing the stairs to relinquish custody through a deposition, I collapsed. I remember going numb. My basic material instincts were being forcibly cut away. I did not believe relinquishing custody was the right thing to do. The courts gave me NO CHOICE, as you cannot choose one child over another. Experts also acknowledged the fact that if I had custody of any of my children, I would most likely be stalked and/or end up dead, due to my ex-husband’s belief that his patriarchal empire remains intact.

Benton County District Attorney John Haroldson read my book in 2003. He introduced me at a speaking engagement and wrote a wonderful review for my published book, BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark at Amazon.com. In November 2003 he wrote the “Forward” for my upcoming book about abuse and recovery:

“Just as important as it is to realize that yearning for chaos is not in your nature, it is equally important to remind oneself that others thrive on chaos. That is their nature. Therefore, any association you have with such a person will necessarily include the chaos they introduce into the equation. I don’t think we ever stop exposing ourselves to such people, for it is as much a part of human existence as anything else. What we do learn however is how to create healthy boundaries so we do not continue to place ourselves in a situation where we expose ourselves to the greatest degree of injury. “In a way, it’s similar to the lessons we learn about fire. We depend on it, but maintain a safe boundary where we can function without getting burned. That’s not to say that there isn’t a time when we have to learn the hard way - a time when we touch the flame, and feel the burn. It’s just that once we feel the pain, we learn something, and then create a healthier boundary that allows us to coexist. The biggest difference between this “fire” analogy, and experiencing a cruel abusive relationship is that the flame of the fire is easy to see, and lets you know you are being hurt if you get too close. Abusive relationships work in an opposite order.” – District Attorney John Haroldson, Benton County, Oregon

District Attorney Haroldson also shared this profound insight: that while I escaped long term violence in my home, I was shot with a poison arrow in my back – the abrupt and permanent removal of my children as well as ongoing court trauma. He said, “Coral, you have left a legacy. Your published book, BONSHEA, is available to anyone you wishes to know the truth. Choose life!”

I will never go away, I will not remain silent, I will give voice to the violence. I will continue to share my truths in a legal and non-violent manner. Non-violence does not threaten. Non-violence leans until something, some day, moves. "Non-violence is a way of life for courageous people. Non-violence seeks to defeat injustices, not people. Non-violence always chooses love instead of hate. Non-violence holds that the universe is on the side of justice and that right will prevail. The goal of non-violence is reconciliation and the beginning of healing."–Mary Manin Morrissey

I am not an EGG DONOR FOR THE CHURCH AND STATE. I believe individuals who support the removal of babies and children from good, nurturing mothers should be held accountable, legally and spiritually.
 
 

The Dark Side of Fr. Oregon Representative Betsy Close and Joe Paterno: Depraved & Inhumane Part 1

The Dark Side of Fr. Oregon Representative Betsy Close and Joe Paterno: Depraved & Inhumane Part 2

Radio Program: Listen to Coral Theill's guest appearance on the "Majority United" Radio Program, Feb. 13, 2012: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/freemenow/2012/02/14/the-majority-united

Related Articles:

May-8-2010: A Mother Does Not Forget Her Children: First March on Washington for Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

[Soft Break] May-10-2010: SILENT VIGIL AT WHITE HOUSE: Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

May-8-2010: A Mother Does Not Forget Her Children: First March on Washington for Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

May-10-2010: SILENT VIGIL AT WHITE HOUSE: Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

Feb. 26, 2010: "The Gift of Healing is Our Birthright - What an Advocate Looks Like" - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com

May-12-2007: Abuse Under the Watch of Oregon's Justice System - Tim King Salem- News.com

Nov-29-2007: Welcome to Oregon: Land of Domestic Abuse Endorsement - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com

Nov-28-2007: Marital Rape and Abuse Victim Seeks Justice From Oregon's Governor - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com

May-10-2009: Oregon Should Consider Coral Theill this Mother's Day - Tim King Salem-News.com

May-29-2008: What Abuse Survivors Expect from the Portland Crime Victims Conference - Tim King Salem-News.com

Jan. 11, 2012: Attorney General Kamala D. Harris Calls on Congress to Reauthorize Violence Against Women Act http://www.salem-news.com/articles/january112012/vava-revival.php

Coral Theill’s Military Articles at Salem-News.com: link




Coral Anika Theill, reporter and advocate, is author of "BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark." Her published works address abuse, trauma recovery and healing from post-traumatic stress and most recently, wounded Marines, the Warrior Games and Montford Point Marines. Her writings have encouraged and inspired numerous trauma victims and wounded Marines/soldiers recovering from PTS and TBI. Coral's positive insights as a survivor have also earned the respect of clinical therapists, advocates, attorneys, professors and authors. BONSHEA has been used as a college text for nursing students at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon and can be ordered at: http://amazon.com, http://barnesandnoble.com or http:// iUniverse.com


"Those who serve may already know the toll of having to kill or be killed, but civilian society should also recognize that those who go into battle defending our way of life pay a price. I feel a deep gratitude to our servicemen and women and believe our society needs to do more to respect, understand and support those returning from deployment in conflict zones.” – Coral Anika Theill, Contributing Writer for Leatherneck Magazine

The Commandant of the Marine Corps on Post-Traumatic Stress and Traumatic Brain Injury and Invisible Battle Scars: Confronting the Stigma of PTS and TBI http://www.woundedwarriorregiment.org/documents/pao/Leatherneck_Oct_PTS_TBI.pdf

Meet Oregon District 8 Senator Betsy Close - Ritual Abuse - Part 1 & 2

Meet Oregon District 8 Senator Betsy Close 



Aug-13-2012 01:53printcomments
Video

The Dark Side of Fr. Oregon Representative Betsy Close and Joe Paterno: Depraved & Inhumane Part 1



Part 1 of 6 - It is terrible for everybody when the truth does not come out. It is terrible for SOME when it does.

Speak the truth even if your voice shakes
Speak the truth even if your voice shakes

(SALEM) - There are individuals mentioned in my story who refused to acknowledge the horrors of my survival of marital abuse and my cry for help. They became an obstacle to my basic human rights-freedom and safety. I am holding them responsible and accountable for the continued trauma I have experienced throughout the past several years. I am requesting that the acts of disrespect, dishonesty and violence against me be acknowledged and resolved.

2012 Campaign Slogan: “I have a strong sense of responsibility for others.” – Betsy Close

Betsy Close, of Albany, Oregon, the former Oregon State Representative (R), House District 15 will seek the Benton County Commissioner Position 3 seat, now held by Annabelle Jaramillo, in the 2012 General Election, November 6, 2012. Former Oregon State Representative Betsy Close http://betsyclose.com/ served three terms beginning in 1998.

I believe life is a series of rooms. Who you are stuck in the room with is what your life is.

From 1984-1996, Betsy and Chris Close were friends with my abusive ex-husband, Mr. Marty Warner, Independence, Oregon. I was their one of their “casualties.” Their religious views distorted their ability to view me, a woman, as a fellow human being.

From 1993-1994, Fr. State Rep. Betsy Close phoned
me, during the time of my illness and told me God
had cursed me. She sent me letters exhorting me to
repent. She does not believe an abused and battered
woman has a “right to divorce.” Under Betsy Close’s
fundamental ideology, a wife should just call “911.”
Ms. Close’s viewpoints promote domestic violence
and loss of lives.


Mrs. Close was aware of the abuse I suffered for years, including the ritual and emotional abuse, rapes and beatings during the period of my breakdown in 1993-1994. After my 8th child was born in July 1995, I shared with her that I needed help and safety. Betsy Close told me I would have to wait for my husband to commit adultery before I could ever divorce him and seek safety. Betsy Close proclaims to be a born again, spirit-filled Pentecostal Christian and is “pro-life.”

The crimes committed against me in 1993-1994 are Rape Count I. Oregon law states: sexually using a women who is physically, mentally incapacitated and helpless is RAPE COUNT I as described in Chapter 743, Oregon Laws, 1971, 163.375. Rape in the first degree is a Class A Felony. Husbands are not exempt from this law.

Betsy and Chris Close did nothing; the courts, attorneys, family members, Pastor Ron Sutter and his church members did nothing.

I reported the crimes of battering, rape, child and sexual abuse to law enforcement agencies, attorneys, judges, the Oregon Attorney General, and the Governor. My story was also presented to President Barack Obama on Mother’s Day 2010. http://salem-news.com/articles/may082010/lost-moms-ct.php

In 2003, my true life story, BONSHEA, was published. Dr. Barbara May, Professor of Nursing, Linfield College, invited me to be a guest speaker for her class in 2001. BONSHEA was used as a college text for her nursing students in 2004. Dr. May, my mentor of 15 years, as well as many physicians, counselors and advocates throughout the country describes my Oregon court case as “obscene” and the individuals who were a threat to my safety and survival “toxic.”

The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.

Forcibly taking a mother's children, and then controlling her emotionally by withholding contact must be publicly recognized as one of the greatest forms of 'mis-use' of the American justice system and one of the greatest hidden vehicles for wide-spread socially approved physical and emotional abuse and control.

Dr. Clarissa Estes writes, 'A culture that requires harm to one's soul in order to follow the culture's proscriptions is a very sick culture indeed.' 1 I think this is true. By obeying the Order of the Court, I betrayed my soul, my children and myself. I was forced to make a choice that no mother should ever be forced to make.



Tens of thousands of loving mothers have lost permanent custody and contact with their children through the abuse of power of America’s Family Court judges. "Fathers who battered the mother are twice as likely to seek sole custody of their children as are non-violent fathers." -American Psychological Association (http://www.intermedia-inc.com/title.asp?sku=SM03).

FAMILY COURTS AND FUNDAMENTAL LEGALISTIC CHRISTIANS ARE THE REAL WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION Video is dedicated to court personnel, and church and family members who support abusers. Hall of Shame: Mr. Marty Warner, Mrs. Helen Warner, former Oregon Representative Betsy Close, Former District Attorney John Fisher, Cindy Haugland, Peggy Warner, Mr. Mark Lawrence, Mr. Daniel Van Eaton, Sarah & Ben Bobeda, Rachel & Jesse White, Pastor Ron & Marijo Sutter, Steve & Kay Dixon, Bill & Linda Heard, Brian and Kathy King, “Right to Life,” Bridgeport Community Chapel members. Warning: Video may be disturbing for some people - Graphic images.

Domestic Violence is a Crime


From 1993-1994, Fr. State Representative Betsy Close phoned me, during the time of my illness and told me that God had cursed me. She sent me letters exhorting me to repent. She disapproved of my taking medication (low-dose tranquilizers) during the period I had suffered a breakdown/depression. In her words, “taking tranquilizers will open you up to demonic strongholds.” (I have copies of her letters to this day).

Although mentally well at the birth of my eighth child in 1995 and mentally well at my court hearings, the testimony introduced by Mr. Warner’s attorney revolved around my post-partum depression and physical and mental breakdown/stroke that had occurred three years previously.

In 1996, in preparation for my divorce hearings, I passed all six psychiatric exams by well-respected Oregon physicians. Many of these exams were four hours long. My physicians commented that many individuals involved in my court hearings would be unable to pass the same exams. My ex-husband failed his court ordered psychological exam.

Instead of supporting me while I was seeking safety from long term domestic violence in 1996, Betsy Close met and sympathized with my abusive husband, Marty Warner, and his attorney, Mark Lawrence, to assist them in removing my six month nursing infant and younger children from me.

I believe that domestic violence is a crime. It is a complex problem with roots in an oppressively hierarchical, patriarchal violence-accepting society. There is a point at which behavior becomes predatory and malicious - a point at which one is morally obligated to separate themselves from that person. (For the past 13 years I have lived under a state address protection program from my ex-husband, Marty Warner of Independence, OR).

In 1996, Dr. Jean Furchner interviewed Dr. Charles D. South, my obstetrician. Her report states:

"I spoke with Charles D. South, M.D., who is the OB/Gyn who delivered the twins and has seen Kathy through several of her deliveries. He said she had a very difficult time at the last delivery, with Zachary, hemorrhaging and in distress; the doctor wanted to start the IV and other therapy and was opposed by Mr. Warner; he said he finally had to intervene and begin the treatment because the patient was in real trouble. Dr. South states that he has been disillusioned by Mr. Warner, who presented himself early as a doting father but who has allowed his beliefs in male dominance and his control needs to interfere. He comments that Kathy was probably passive and notes her recent depression; he comments that he has come to see this patient as mentally abused in the marriage."

Mr. Warner beat me twice during this pregnancy. His reason? I had asked him to please not send our younger children to his mother, Helen Warner. Our 13 year old son and our nine-year old year old daughter, Theresa, witnessed these beatings. On one occasion, after Mr. Warner struck me on the head, I landed in the hallway outside of the kitchen. He stood over me and said in a threatening tone, "Kathy, [Coral] look at what you are doing to the children."

This was the second pregnancy during the two year period of my depression and breakdown. During this pregnancy, I was described by friends and relatives who took care of me, as a "glassed over, empty shell." I was weak, could not eat, sleep or care for myself.

After the birth of my 8th child in July 1995, I was frail when I returned home from the hospital. While I was still recovering from hemorrhaging, my husband attempted to rape me. After blocking my door at night with a dresser, I realized living this way of life would soon kill me. I sought help from an attorney and was not prepared for the horrors of Oregon’s judicial system.

Every Victim Longs for Justice, Vindication and Restitution


Making New Memories: H.V. Browne, Montford Point Marine,
Congressional Gold Medal Recipient, New Jersey and Coral
Theill at Marine Barracks Washington, June 29, 2012.


The bronze statue, weighing more than 900 pounds, erected in 2001 in honor of Joe Paterno’s record-setting 324th Division I coaching victory and his “contributions to Penn State University” came down Sunday morning, July 22, 2012.

Penn State President Rodney Erickson said he decided the sculpture had to go because it “has become a source of division and an obstacle to healing.” In Washington, the White House said President Barack Obama believed “it was the right decision.” I also agree with this decision.

Every day, since Betsy Close and other hostile witnesses took the stand in March 1996 against me, I have longed for justice, vindication and restitution. Betsy Close and her husband, Chris visited with me before and after my 8th child’s birth. They knew I was physically and mentally incapacitated during the time my ex-husband repeatedly raped and impregnated me in 1993-1994. Betsy and Chris Close were “on call” to take me to the hospital in July 1995, due to my husband leaving the area for a fishing trip at the time of my due date.

When there is no justice, there is truly no healing.

It takes two to speak the truth - one to speak and another to hear.” – Henry David Thoreau

After my divorce in 1996, I sought help by writing hundreds of letters to the media and to local, state and national advocate groups, to no avail. I met with journalists and editors of The Statesman Journal, Albany Democrat Herald and The Gazette Times. They refused to expose my story. Personnel at the Albany Democrat Herald were especially rude and would not publish my editorial.

Coral Theill at White House – Thank you to Tim & Bonnie King


Thankfully, Tim & Bonnie King, Editors/Publishers at Salem-News.com See Salem-News.com Staff Page heard my cries for help in 2007 and have been covering my story since. *(Related Salem-News.com stories included below)

Tim & Bonnie King are not only local and state advocates extraordinaire but also advocate for victims worldwide. (See the article: Significant Honor With Tamils from Around the Globe for Sri Lanka War Crime Reports)

Since 2007, my story and case history has been posted on websites all over the world, including the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Bonnie King at FeTNA


Judges, district attorneys, law enforcement agencies and religious organizations support domestic violence, rape and child abuse/molestation when they treat the victim like a criminal and ignore reported crimes of violence.

As long as our religious and legal systems remain complacent and unsympathetic towards women and children, domestic violence will remain at epidemic proportions in Oregon and throughout America.

If we teach violence in our homes---these places that are supposed to be safe---these situations will lead to a violent society. The violence and pain in individuals, in families and communities often reflects the violence and oppression we have experienced in our homes.

Our judicial system is a product of the community we live in. The courts represent the prevalent views regarding women and children in our communities. Their judgments are a reflection of the patriarchal religious structure of this country today. Unless we speak out against the injustices in our society, we become accomplices to the individuals and institutions that are an obstacle to women and children’s wholeness, safety and wellness.

Tim King at FeTNA 2012 in Baltimore, Md., photos of Bonnie, Coral, Tim and Agron Belica. Click banner to read Sri Lanka reports

Betsy Close: Hostile Witness at my Court Hearings


In the winter of 1996, prior to my three days of temporary custody hearings in Polk County courts, Judge Albin Norblad gave me permission to live in safety and hiding from my husband. I had NO contact with Betsy Close for months before the court hearings, per the orders of my attorneys and due to my own common sense. She was a friend to my rageaholic/abusive husband. They both shared similar extreme religious ideology. I knew she would betray me, I just didn’t know to what extent.

During the years after my ex-husband’s involvement in the “People of Praise” ecumenical cult, Mr. Warner kept busy attending Knights of Columbus and Social Action Committee meetings for St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Corvallis, Oregon. Mr. Warner was also very active in the "Right to Life” movement and served as state representative for Oregon Right to Life.

From his involvement with the "Right to Life" organization, he became friends with Betsy and Chris Close in Corvallis, Oregon. In the years that I was acquainted with Betsy Close, I babysat her children, shared meals, attended social events and on a few occasions, took short trips with her. I was grieved by her spiritual arrogance and her intolerance of people who were “different” than her, i.e., the gay community. Her views extend to prejudice against anyone who does not conform to her fundamentalist doctrines.

My husband did not want my physician, Dr. Charles South, to learn of my pregnancy in 1993, so he put me under the care of an OBGyn in Corvallis, Oregon. When my husband took me to Betsy Close’s Pregnancy Crisis Care center in Corvallis for a pregnancy test during the period of my breakdown, I learned that Mrs. Close was promoting materials from her and her husband’s pastor, Stan Houghton. Pastor Houghton, an abusive Pentecostal cult leader, encouraged parents to beat their children with thick boards. I asked Betsy Close to remove the materials from her center, as I found them repulsive. Mrs. Close often bragged about physically abusing her own children. I tried to caution her of the dangers of this cult, but she dismissed my warnings.

Individuals who attended this same cult are employed at Santiam Christian School.

Order from: Amazon


In her book, Trauma and Recovery, Judith Herman writes, “It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering...

“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.

“The perpetrator's arguments prove irresistible when the bystander faces them in isolation. Without a supportive social environment, the bystander usually succumbs to the temptation to look the other way. This is true even when the victim is an idealized and valued member of society. Soldiers in every war, even those who have been regarded as heroes, complain bitterly that no one wants to know the real truth about war. When the victim is already devalued (a woman, a child), she may find that the most traumatic events in her life take place outside the realm of socially validated reality. Her experience becomes unspeakable...

“To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the victim and that joins the victim and witness in a common alliance. For the individual victim, this social context is created by relationships with friends, lovers, and family. For the larger society, the social context is created by political movements that give voice to the disempowered...”

Cruel and Unusual Punishment


On several occasions, my ex-husband’s attorney, Mr. Lawrence made rude comments about my body odor during the time of my breakdown and my inability to care for my personal hygiene at that time. Due to decades of abuse, I collapsed after my 7th child’s home birth and suffered from postpartum depression/collapse and a partial stroke. I could not understand the relevancy this had during a child custody hearing. I was not ashamed of my breakdown and did not believe I needed to be unnecessarily humiliated about details relating to that time.

When I would share in my testimony that Mr. Warner did not allow me to go to a doctor alone or at all, etc., Mr. Lawrence would challenge me in regards to my answers. He would ask me, “Did you have your own keys? No one was threatening you were they?” Mr. Lawrence was either very naive to the fact that I was operating in the realm of the “battered wife’s syndrome” throughout my marriage, or he was very aware of the fact that I had been battered by his client. I believe Mr. Lawrence was using my previous mental history as a sideshow in Court to cover up the crimes his client had committed against me–battering, ritual abuse, and marital rape.

At my temporary custody hearings in March 1996, Fr. Oregon State Representative Betsy Close, who had been a trusted friend, also harmed me through her testimony. When my attorney asked Betsy Close what she meant when she stated that she did not believe I had grounds for divorce, she answered, "the only grounds for divorce, as described in the Bible, are ‘desertion or fornication’." Betsy Close didn't believe abuse was grounds for divorce.

When my attorney, Mr. Gearing, asked Mrs. Close what she recommended I do while living in the midst of abuse, Betsy Close said that I should call 911." Chris and Betsy Close had offered their home as a safe home for my children and me during a time I was experiencing abuse and violence from Mr. Warner in 1985. In Court, and under oath, she denied ever being a safe place for me and my children. (Please review public Court Transcripts and Tapes: Tape 2 of February 29, 1996, for more of Former Oregon State Representative Betsy Close's dangerous views about domestic violence.)

Betsy Close shared during her testimony that I had called her before the court hearing and told her I wanted to drive to a cabin and kill myself and my baby, Zachary. This was totally untrue! I had not spoken to her for several months.

One physician involved in my court trials and recovery expressed his feelings about the hostile witnesses and religious supporters of my abuser: some people go so low that even the slugs have to salt them.

As I listened to Mrs. Betsy Close on the witness stand, I was horrified at the lies and distortions. I could not understand why she acted so viciously and invented such a twisted story. I loved my baby, Zachary, loved my life and was doing all I could to escape the hell that had been created for me in the past. I was not suicidal. I desired to protect myself and my children.

The indifference and apathy I have experienced from many so-called “spiritually minded” Christian people grieves me to this day. Their response to my trauma and abuse is far removed from the meaning of “Christ-consciousness” that their institutions claim to represent. Instead of vessels of love, compassion and understanding, they became my judges, jury and executioner. They are void of spiritual and emotional intelligence. danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/

Some of the witnesses my ex-husband’s attorney put on the witness stand in March 1996 had only brief encounters with me and some had never met me, but testified as experts on my seventeen years of mothering skills and my present mental condition!

My attorney read a letter in Court that Betsy Close had written me praising me for being a loving, nurturing mother, and thanking me for the gentle mothering style I had not only with my own children, but with her children as well. I babysat her children while she attended “Right to Life” meetings and other political events.

Although it is illegal to mentally abuse someone in court and in depositions, my former depression and mental/nervous breakdown became the subject for ridicule in court. The judge didn't seem to mind Mr. Warner's attorney ridiculing me about my mental breakdown, or my physical shortcomings while I was on the witness stand. In court, Mr. Warner's attorney made numerous comments about my sexual abuse and molestation as a child. (Each night my mother put me in a bedroom with a convicted murderer and sex offender from the time I was six until ten years old. My great-uncle’s probation officer was missing in action).

His questions were intrusive, inappropriate and abusive. I had not yet had the opportunity to seek professional help regarding my childhood sexual abuse issues and was traumatized by his questions. These issues did not pertain to my divorce or the temporary custody hearings.

In depositions, Mr. Mark Lawrence also made light of my concern for my daughters sexual safety in the home. My young daughters had sought help from me. They had been sexual abused, too. These crimes are documented. Sadly, my daughters never received professional help after my ex was given sole custody. I was also concerned for my daughters because of the way my husband had treated me for twenty years. Mr. Warner had never exhibited any sexual restraint or self-control. There was no healthy-minded individual in the home to monitor the situation. (It is reported that one in three girls and one in four boys are sexually molested by the age of eighteen.)

I was also questioned extensively on my personal interpretation of scripture while on the witness stand in court and in depositions by Mr. Lawrence. This was the first time my thoughts had been on trial.

Making Known the Unknown


There is a dark side of human nature when all people are not valued. My intent in sharing my story is an effort to reclaim dignity, equality and honor, not only for myself, but for everyone. I envision a world that values freedom, and diversity, and humanity.

The important lesson to be understood from the horror I, and others, have survived is not so much that it is happening, but that it is being allowed–not only on an individual level, but under the disguise of church and state.

In her book, The Dark Side of Christian History, Helen Ellerbe writes, "The Christian (and Catholic) Church has left a legacy that fosters sexism, racism, and the intolerance of difference. The Church, throughout much of its history, has demonstrated a disregard for human freedom and dignity. The Church's control of people through dictating and containing their spirituality has been the most devastating slavery throughout the history of mankind. We must recognize the fact that ideas and beliefs which foster the denigration of human rights and the intolerance of differences must be examined and brought to light."

Historically, religion has upheld the mentality that encourages and condones abuse. The courts are an extension of our patriarchal heritage that views women as less value than men. By ignoring these facts, we perpetuate the cycle of violence. The religious organizations, community and the courts have closed their ears to my cry for help.

My task is to "make known the unknown."

(To be Continued: Part 2)

1 “Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype” by Clarissa Estes, Ph.D.



Radio Program: Listen to Coral Theill's guest appearance on the "Majority United" Radio Program, Feb. 13, 2012: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/freemenow/2012/02/14/the-majority-united

Related Articles:

May-8-2010: A Mother Does Not Forget Her Children: First March on Washington for Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

May-10-2010: SILENT VIGIL AT WHITE HOUSE: Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com

Feb. 26, 2010: "The Gift of Healing is Our Birthright - What an Advocate Looks Like" - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com

May-12-2007: Abuse Under the Watch of Oregon's Justice System - Tim King Salem- News.com

Nov-29-2007: Welcome to Oregon: Land of Domestic Abuse Endorsement - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com

Nov-28-2007: Marital Rape and Abuse Victim Seeks Justice From Oregon's Governor - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com

May-10-2009: Oregon Should Consider Coral Theill this Mother's Day - Tim King Salem-News.com

May-29-2008: What Abuse Survivors Expect from the Portland Crime Victims Conference - Tim King Salem-News.com

Jan. 11, 2012: Attorney General Kamala D. Harris Calls on Congress to Reauthorize Violence Against Women Act http://www.salem-news.com/articles/january112012/vava-revival.php
 
 
 
Aug-15-2012 02:33printcomments

The Dark Side of Fr. Oregon Representative Betsy Close and Joe Paterno: Depraved & Inhumane Part 2

 
Part 2 of 6 "There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.” — Elie Wiesel, Nobel Laureate, and Holocaust survivor
“Wings of Love” Half-Way House
“Wings of Love” Half-Way House - Killingsworth, Portland, Ore. In the spring of 1994, after my 3rd miscarriage and D & C, my husband and his pastors left me at the “Wings of Love” half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon to punish me and break me to the “will of God” they said. It was filthy and was infested with rats and lice. Photo Credit: Debbie Dresler
(SALEM) - (Part 1) The child rape and molestation scandal at Penn State is an example of what is epidemic in Oregon and throughout America. Many of us who have been victims of sex abuse crimes are ridiculed, threatened and dismissed. Those in positions of power know what has occurred, but often dismiss the victim and protect the criminal. The victim becomes invisible. Former Oregon Representative Betsy Close, just like Joe Paterno, is guilty of protecting an abuser and criminal. She fully supported my ex-husband personally and in Court in 1996. Protecting one of your own, when they have committed horrific inhumane acts against another is one of the worse offenses you can commit in life.
Marty Warner is just one man, but it took a proverbial village and the Oregon judicial system to hide over three decades of overt abuse.
While many people focus their outrage on the judicial system alone, it’s easy to lose sight of broader problems that assist in the culture of abuse -- like churches, family members and the local community. These elements, too, played a role in the corruption and silence that has allowed a man like Marty Warner, and others like him, to operate untouched for so long.
We do the perpetrators a favor when we do not speak about the abuse.
In our society, domestic violence and abuse is socially acceptable
"Evil (ignorance) is like a shadow. It has no real substance of its own; it is simply a lack of light. You cannot cause a shadow to disappear by trying to fight it, stamp on it, by railing against it, or any other form of emotional or physical resistance. In order to cause a shadow to disappear, you must shine light on it." -Shakti Gawain
Pastor Ron & Marijo Sutter, Bridgeport
Community Chapel. Used by Permission:
Polk County Itemizer Observer. The hostile
Christians involved in my divorce reminds
me of the old adage, “Some people are so
heavenly conscious, they are no earthly good.”

My ex-husband and his religious leaders and counselors threatened me, telling me that I could not seek help for my children or report the crimes that occurred in our home. The crimes would become a “family and church secret.” One child was being secretly counseled by an unlicensed Christian counselor, Bill Heard, from Roseburg, Oregon, in the office of Pastor Ron Sutter, Bridgeport Community Chapel, Monmouth, Oregon. http://www.polkio.com/ns/gen/11592/12-19-milestone
Oregon law requires parents, pastors, teachers, physicians, counselors and professionals to report crimes of sexual abuse. Sadly, Pastor Ron Sutter and Bill Heard did not report the crimes of rape, child abuse and sex abuse. This church was above the law. I continue to hear from women who report that they have also been abused by Mr. Bill Heard to this day.
In the spring of 1994, after my 3rd miscarriage and D & C, my husband and his pastors left me at the “Wings of Love” half-way house on Killingsworth in Portland, Oregon to punish me and break me to the “will of God” they said.
The Dark Side of Fr. Oregon Representative Betsy
Close and Joe Paterno: Depraved & Inhumane:
Part 1
The house was a shelter for ex-cons, street people and prostitutes. It was filthy and was infested with rats and lice. There was no lock on the room I stayed in. The ex-cons and I kept busy killing the rats with shovels.

It was a frightening experience for me during the two year episode of my breakdown for my abuser, his “cult” leaders, religious friends and supporters to be “in charge” of my “recovery program.” My brother, Don Hall, visited me at the “Wings of Love” half-way house and asked permission from my husband to let me come home with him. After several weeks, my husband finally agreed to allow me to stay with my brother for the next several months.
Mr. Bill Heard, also counseled me during the period of my breakdown in 1994, per my husband’s wishes. I was in shock and fear of these two oppressive and sick men. Mr. Heard told me I was in rebellion to God and had a proud and critical spirit. He often made fun of me, made me get on my knees and repent before him and my husband. They listed my shortcomings and sins and explained in great length all the things I had done wrong. Everything was my fault, they said. I often felt suicidal after counseling sessions with this man.
Pastor Bill & Linda Heard, Roseburg, OR - Abusive unlicensed
Christian counselors. So far, neither the judges, attorneys, hostile
witnesses, nor my ex-husband have been held accountable for the
cruel acts committed against me. Oregon's law system has given
them all a legal right to commit acts that would otherwise be viewed
as criminal, depraved and inhumane.

After my divorce, I asked his wife for my records. She said they had destroyed them because the Bill Gothard’s Institute agreed with her husband’s counsel and treatment of me. (I believe if I had lived in a different era, my husband and Mr. Heard would have burned me at the stake.)
After I birthed my 8th child in July 1995, I refused to attend my husband’s cults. Mr. Heard and my husband said I was in rebellion and threatened to put me in the state mental hospital. There was nothing wrong with me. I called my long term friend and adopted mother, Addie Archer, in Longview, Washington. She worked as a court reporter for the Superior Court of Washington State for 25 years and personally assisted me in my efforts to seek safety in 1995. Her legal advice through the years of my court trauma was invaluable. Addie passed away in 2010 at 81-years old.
In 1995, I retained an attorney not only for protection against my ex, his friends, pastors and religious supporters, but also for the safety and well-being of all my eight children. My younger daughter’s needed protection as they had been sexually molested. They needed to be examined by their pediatrician and they needed professional counseling.
My older son needed safety, too, as he had been severely abused and assaulted by my ex, Mr. Warner, for several years. I had also been raped and beaten during a period of time that I could not care for myself. I reported the documented crimes committed against me and my children. Even though the crimes against me were documented, Polk County District Attorney John Fisher dismissed the charges I filed against my ex-husband.
To this day, the abusers who have confessed their crimes against my children, including sexual abuse, are allowed full contact, while I, the mother who reported the crimes, am allowed no contact with my children per Court Order. I have also been banned from contact with my children due to the fact that I do not adhere to fundamental legalistic, cult Christian ideology.

Complicity

Mrs. Close continued to lie throughout her testimony. People who are economical with the truth do not do well under cross examination. She had difficulty keeping her distortions straight and her notes in order. Witnesses in the courtroom became humored. When my attorney asked her if she knew that my husband, Mr. Warner, and his attorney Mr. Mark Lawrence, had put me through 45 hours of depositions, that were abusive in nature, and numerous court hearings in the past few months, she said she was not aware of these facts.
Former Oregon State Representative
Betsy Close is an obstacle to women and
children seeking safety and wholeness.
Ms. Close holds many extreme fundamentalist
beliefs that are a detriment to woman and
children as well as the general community.

After she finished testifying and court recessed, Judge Albin Norblad headed to the judge’s chambers. Mrs. Betsy Close stepped down from the witness stand and approached me in a very aggressive and hostile manner. Friends in the courtroom and Christopher Vasquez, an Air Force cadet, (now a pilot and Major in the Air Force) moved to protect me from her. Judge Norblad ordered her removed from the courtroom for her disorderly conduct. I have not heard from Betsy Close since the court trial in March 1996. Someday, I would like a public and written apology.
Betsy Close and other brutalist Christians is the reason I pray, “Jesus, protect me from your followers.” Many of us wonder what makes legalistic fundamental Christians so mean.
A wise man told me: "Coral, we are all born with a triangle inside of us. This triangle has three razor-sharp points. If we lie and tell un-truths to injure or harm another, it turns and makes us hurt, bleed and feel pain inside. When people become habitually ‘untruth tellers’ the triangle spins so quickly that the pointed sharp edges are worn down to a circle that just spins and spins. They no longer feel any pain when they lie.”
I believe Fr. Oregon State Rep. Betsy Close is an obstacle to women and children seeking safety and wholeness. Ms. Close holds many extreme fundamentalist beliefs that are a detriment to woman and children as well as the general community. As long as women like her are in office, women and children will have to prepare for the worse!
The five individuals, Mr. Marty Warner, Mr. Bill Heard, Mr. Brian King, Mrs. Helen Warner and State Representative Betsy Close, that were so adamant about my rights of motherhood being removed from me, were also pro-life and “Right-to-Life” activists. I found this ironic and hypocritical! (Betsy Close was a founding member of Options Pregnancy Care Centers, a private non-profit group. Marty Warner was a representative for Right to Life)
While preparing me for court, my attorney, Mr. David Gearing said, “Kathy, [Coral] people lie in court." I consoled myself throughout the years of court trials and trauma with one of my favorite quotes, "Pure truth, like pure gold, has been found unfit for circulation because men have discovered it is far more convenient to adulterate the truth, than to refine themselves." Charles Caleb Cotton, Lacon (1825)

MEMO to all Oregon State Senators and Oregon State Representatives, March 20, 2003

As a human rights advocate, and advocate for the safety of women and children, I hand delivered a MEMO http://coralanikatheill.blogspot.com/2012/07/memo-former-oregon-state-representative.html to all Oregon State Senators and Oregon State Representatives at the Capitol in Salem, Oregon on March 20, 2003 to inform them that Betsy Close had personally aided an abuser and did not believe a Christian woman could divorce her husband in cases of severe abuse.

"BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark."


BONSHEA is a work of immense courage, a true tale of heartbreak and salvation. By exposing what was done to her by the court system, by the religious authorities and by their enabling cronies as she took the moral high ground by leaving an abusive husband, the author gives readers the tremendous gift of her hard-won insight and spiritual awakening.

“As shocking as it may be, Coral's story resonates with the truth. I hear pleas for help from protective mothers like Coral every day, week after week, year after year--all of them pleading for their very birthright, their greatest right, which is to be a mother.
 
“She pinpoints, with heart-piercing accuracy, the historical hatred of females and of the feminine that has permeated societies, including our present one, for eons. Her personal story of living with and divorcing an abusive "religious" man who was cheered on by the community's religious, governmental, and legal authorities mirrors the persecution of all women who, like Coral, choose to say "no" to male dominance and power. These include Middle Age "witches," midwives, mothers who protect their children from a father's abuse, mothers who dare to have careers and mothers who elect to stay home with their children. Coral also calls out for the only true cure for the dark side of human nature, and that is to live in the light.
 
“Coral's work is a special blessing for me and for my sisters throughout this country. Not a single particle of the wisdom Coral shares misses the mark.” - Maureen T. Hannah, Ph.D. "Chair,” Battered Mother's Custody Conference, Albany, New York
 
"Every so often a book is written that touches the heart. This is such a book. BONSHEA is an unforgettable story that will leave an indelible mark on your psyche." - Addie Archer, Longview, Washington
 
BONSHEA engaged my attention immediately, and then enraged me. The author has endured huge suffering at the hands of brutalists hiding behind the masks of pseudo Christianity and "justice for all." The author continues to stride toward the light in her own life--at huge personal cost--and to bring her story forward for all to consider and act upon.” - Karen Goldammer
 
"The power of her life is not that she escaped from a "cult", but that she continues to serve as an agent of change. This is not a "she said/he said" tale of abuse, but rather a self-damning expose of her struggle to survive." - Bruce McLelland, Washington D.C.

I Want Emancipated from Mr. Marty Warner and Oregon Courts in 2012
After my baby and young children were removed, my natural mothering and bonding chemicals that are so strong especially after the birth of a child went into physical and emotional shock. My survival in the coming days, months and years depended on me keeping the precious memories of being a mother and the bond I felt for my children in a detached place.
I no longer feel the daily joy of being a mother, and I miss that. For my wellness to remain intact, it takes an enormous amount of emotional effort, awareness and courage to keep the precious memories I have of my children in the background. The survival of the court trauma proved more difficult in some ways than surviving eighteen years in this marriage because when I finally found strength to try to get out–the help I had depended upon from the law, the court, etc., all betrayed me. Justice did not come.
I continue to long for healthy interaction with my children and miss them more than words can describe. Spiritually, I understand what has happened. I understand money and power buy justice. I rebuild my balance each day by mediation and by accepting the fact that everything for the moment is exactly as it should be because society has willed it so. I continue to pray for the highest good for all. I believe in imminent possibilities, surprises, miracles and "One Fine Day."
Presently, I have not had contact with my children for 14 years, was sued for twice that I earn as a fully disabled woman, was homeless for three years, living in my car off and on, due my ex-husband legally stalking me, i.e., forty-two court related hearings from 1996-2006. In 2004, my ex, Marty Warner, also appealed a court case to the Oregon State of Appeals, suing me for an additional $50,000 for child support. I had no monies for an attorney and was required to write my own legal brief while I was homeless. The Oregon State of Appeals dismissed my ex-husband’s appeal. Since 1995, attorney and court related fees and expenses have amounted to over $200,000.
My passport was revoked years ago due to a $5,080.00 Child Support Summary Judgment my wealthy ex-husband has against me through the Polk County District Attorney’s Office. In 2003, Judge Paula Brownhill ordered that I could not visit, write, phone or send my children gifts.
Dr. Barbara May, my mentor since 1997, has documented my domestic violence case as one of the most obscene and violent cases she has been involved with in her 30 years of psychiatric practice.
Due to the Child Support Summary Judgment hanging over my head, I could be threatened with jail time as a “punishment” and my driver’s license could be revoked. Well-meaning individuals have confronted my ex-husband this past year in regards to the judgment requesting that he dismiss it by signing a “Child Support Summary Judgment Dismissal “In Kind” Form. Mr. Warner informed them he will never dismiss the judgment.
The individuals listed below acted in a hostile manner and were a threat to my survival and safety. They claim to be Christians, but have a lot to learn about “Christed-ness and compassion.”
Advocates and supporters are welcome to contact the following people to recommend dismissal of the Child Support Summary Judgment and help right some of these wrongs.
Fr. Oregon State Representative Betsy Close, Phone: (541) 941-7593, Albany, OR 97321
Marty Warner, Phone: (503) 838-1662, Independence, OR
 
Pastor Ron & Marijo Sutter, Phone: (503) 623-4082, Monmouth, OR
Sarah (Warner) & Ben Bobeda, Rachel (Warner) & Jesse White, Phone: (503) 551- 2838, (503) 551-3589, Salem & Albany, Oregon
                    
Bill & Linda Heard, Phone: (541) 580-4953, (541) 580-4952, Roseburg, OR,
Peggy Warner, Phone: (360) 568-4939, (425) 337-4000, Snohomish, WA, Steve & Jane Warner, (425) 337-4992, Everett, WA,
Bill & Beverly Moerke, Phone: (509) 526-5561, 27 Sullivan Place, Walla Walla, WA,
Bernie Warner, Phone: (503) 815-2996, Sun Acres Farm, Tillamook, OR 97141

Speaking out and requesting that the violence committed against me be acknowledged and resolved is an act of self-respect, love and healing. Seeking resolution is NOT seeking revenge.
In November 2011, my trusted friend and editor, Judy Bennett, from Monmouth, Oregon contacted me. She had received a disturbing call from a woman who had attended a Christian rally nearby. The woman had met my ex-husband, Marty Warner at the rally. He told her and other individuals that I had committed suicide and was dead. Even though he claims I am dead, I continue to receive the judgment he has against me for child support each month.

Not Allowed to Attend my Brother’s Funeral

The court order sought by my ex-husband and abuser, denying me visitation privileges in 1999 also created complications in July 2009. I was not permitted to attend my own brother’s funeral. My brother’s pastor reported that my ex-husband was attending the funeral, as well as my younger children. According to the Oregon Court Order, I could be arrested for attending the funeral due to being in the same vicinity of my younger children - a violation of Judge Paula Brownhill’s court orders. I emailed the pastor my eulogy for my brother’s service.
 
I believe the courts and churches that are so adamant in punishing women who seek safety have not yet realized the long term ramifications for the victim. As a child, I could not have imagined that Court Orders, due to my ex-husband’s wrath, would prevent me from adequately grieving for the loss of my only brother and sibling. Only in America.

We are as Sick as Our Secrets

Bridgeport Community Chapel, Monmouth, Oregon, Instead
of vessels of love, compassion and understanding, they became
my judges, jury and executioner.

In 2003, my ex and his attorney filed a Motion of Contempt against me due to attending my 16 year old son’s football game at Santiam Christian School, at my son’s request. At the game, my ex-husband violently abused my 11 year old daughter, Hannah. There were many witnesses, including me; charges against my ex were filed with the Corvallis Police Department, children and parents shared their testimony. The abuse charge against Mr. Warner was dismissed due to Mr. Warner’s and Hannah’s testimony that “nothing happened.” Children living with abusers learn that accepting abuse and keeping quiet is “safety.” Secrecy and denial become a way of life. A few years ago, my ex-husband served as a foster parent for a troubled 15 year old boy from Bridgeport Community Chapel.
 
In the years that followed, due to severe brainwashing, my children shun me and some of my children have written me “hate letters,” My adult children have invited batterers, rapists and child abusers/molesters to their weddings and events, but I, their mother who protected them, am not welcome.
 
When I am no longer here, who are my children going to hate and blame?

Closing

I have spent long hours trying to make some sense of my life and have come to the conclusion when horror overcomes us the only response possible is to remember what happened and tell the story.
"When the content of the story cannot resolve the irrationality of such suffering, of any suffering, the act of telling the story can be the one valid moral response, the sole way to give what happened a meaning. Hopefully in writing, telling the story, it can give the suffering ultimate significance and meaning to an experience of a destruction of meaning." –Robert H. Hopcke, There Are No Accidents
The traumatized person who accomplishes the work of recovery and healing has the potential of becoming more integrated and more aware and conscious than the person who has endured no blatant trauma and has never had to piece together a shattered psyche.
 
Once on the other side, (of our crisis), one must look back and throw down a footbridge, for followers to use. When you have "jumped outside of the given", there is an obligation to share with others what you learned. You must not only tell how you got there, but the process of survival as well. Someone must have the wisdom, courage and strength to live their truth fearlessly. That someone becomes "the living bridge."
 
I hope Betsy Close will step down from running for political office and seek the professional and spiritual help she needs. Mrs. Close is an “unsafe person.” http://www.salem-news.com/articles/february202011/safe-people-ms.php
 
Sadly, Betsy Close exemplifies the saying, “If you can’t be a good example, you will just have to be a horrible warning.”
 
 
The Dark Side of Fr. Oregon Representative Betsy Close and Joe Paterno: Depraved & Inhumane: Part 1
 
(To be Continued in Part 3)
 
1 “Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype” by Clarissa Estes, Ph.D.

Radio Program: Listen to Coral Theill's guest appearance on the "Majority United" Radio Program, Feb. 13, 2012: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/freemenow/2012/02/14/the-majority-united

Related Articles:
May-8-2010: A Mother Does Not Forget Her Children: First March on Washington for Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com
May-10-2010: SILENT VIGIL AT WHITE HOUSE: Mothers of Lost Children - Coral Anika Theill Salem-News.com
Feb. 26, 2010: "The Gift of Healing is Our Birthright - What an Advocate Looks Like" - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com
May-12-2007: Abuse Under the Watch of Oregon's Justice System - Tim King Salem- News.com
Nov-29-2007: Welcome to Oregon: Land of Domestic Abuse Endorsement - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com
Nov-28-2007: Marital Rape and Abuse Victim Seeks Justice From Oregon's Governor - Coral Anika Theill Special to Salem-News.com
May-10-2009: Oregon Should Consider Coral Theill this Mother's Day - Tim King Salem-News.com
May-29-2008: What Abuse Survivors Expect from the Portland Crime Victims Conference - Tim King Salem-News.com
Jan. 11, 2012: Attorney General Kamala D. Harris Calls on Congress to Reauthorize Violence Against Women Act
http://www.salem-news.com/articles/january112012/vava-revival.php
 
 


 
Coral has written six articles on Montford
Point Marines of WWII: five articles are
published at Salem-News.com and one article
at Leatherneck Magazine. In 2011 Coral
Theill received the National Montford Point
Marine Association Lester Granger Award for
her advocacy and support.


Coral Anika Theill, reporter and advocate, is author of "BONSHEA: Making Light of the Dark." Her published works address abuse, trauma recovery and healing from post-traumatic stress and most recently, wounded Marines, the Warrior Games and Montford Point Marines.

Her writings have encouraged and inspired numerous trauma victims and wounded Marines/soldiers recovering from PTS and TBI. Coral's positive insights as a survivor have also earned the respect of clinical therapists, advocates, attorneys, professors and authors. BONSHEA has been used as a college text for nursing students at Linfield College, Portland, Oregon and can be ordered at: http://amazon.com, http://barnesandnoble.com or http:// iUniverse.com


"Those who serve may already know the toll of having to kill or be killed, but civilian society should also recognize that those who go into battle defending our way of life pay a price. I feel a deep gratitude to our servicemen and women and believe our society needs to do more to respect, understand and support those returning from deployment in conflict zones.” – Coral Anika Theill, Contributing Writer for Leatherneck Magazine

The Commandant of the Marine Corps on Post-Traumatic Stress and Traumatic Brain Injury and Invisible Battle Scars: Confronting the Stigma of PTS and TBI http://www.woundedwarriorregiment.org/documents/pao/Leatherneck_Oct_PTS_TBI.pdf

Catch Coral's military articles published on Salem-News.com at this link